Family

I just saw a commercial on Hulu for Disneyland. "You'll always remember the moment they stopped being siblings, and started being friends." And regardless of the fact that it's a commercial, and it's on an internet site for streaming mediocre television, it's an interesting quote. And one with which I completely disagree.

I am fairly well known in my circle for having an odd, but very calm and pleasant relationship with my immediate family. I don't get very upset with them. I manage to never fight with them. When they say or do things that I disagree with or dislike, I say nothing to them, let it brew, maybe complain to D about it, and get over it. You have to get over it, because really, what are my other options? And believe me, I know that, really, there are other options. But those options either involve talking about it, or distancing myself from them. And I like 'em, all in all. I don't want to fix issues through avoidance.

And as far as talking goes, talking to my family is worthless. It's like talking to a person who speaks only Japanese. Sure, they can see that you are talking. They can gather a general impression of your mood. But they can. not. cannot. understand what you are saying. It's not the same language. The language doesn't even have common roots. And it doesn't matter how long you try, or how loud you speak, or how desperately you may want to say something. You will not be heard. Because you don't speak in a way they can understand.

Period. Full stop.

That's something. I mean, it's a definite thing. And it's something that I think a lot of people do not understand. Or try to not understand. Pretend it's not true.

Because we can pick our friends. Based of anything from common interest, to common locale, to latent attraction. But we do not get that luxury with our families. We get to chose if and who we want as a partner in life, but we're stuck with what generations before us chose.

I don't talk with my extended family at all. I might get a birthday email from my Aunt Sue once a year. She's one out of 24 aunts and uncles.Why the disconnect? Distance. When you have a chasm of an entire continent, you really find out if there is anything more. There probably isn't.