I'm taking on a new role at work. It's a combo of hush-hush and nebulous right now, but I'm essentially going to be handing my beautiful, smooth running team to someone else, and taking over the most disjointed one to try to optimize and really just manage the thing. I'm excited and nervous.

I'm in an advanced management program with our corporate investment group. It's good for me, because I meet a lot of fancy people that show me what I don't want to be, I meet some cool people, and I'm filling in some of my gaps, since I don't have the business or numbers background a lot of people get in business school.

As part of the program, we're taking some classes through Cornell's online catalog. They run two weeks a course, and are just as much work as my month long Master's classes were. I finished the first one in a week though, so it's fine.

I only went to college because I was driven and felt that it was important. My brother didn't go, and my sister is failing out currently.

I'm...mostly okay with my life. I love my fiance, I'm so excited to marry her, I'm ready to buy a house, and I'm excelling at work. But I sometimes wonder what I could have accomplished if I had parents who pushed me. Maybe if I'd gone to a top tier school and studied something else, I would have found something that challenged me.

It's not my fault nor my credit that I'm smart, it's an accident of DNA and environment, and nothing for me to be proud or ashamed of. But sometimes I can't help feeling like I'm wasting it.