I say fuck a lot

I might even joke about it.

"Hey, Jen, why aren't you a Christian anymore?"
-"Eh. I fuckin' curse too much."

Shit too. I say shit a lot. It used to be my least favorite. But I did a 180 a couple of years ago once I realized how versatile it is.

Anyhow. This is an Easter post.

Yesterday was my first non-religious Easter. It felt great, to sleep in. To go buy candy. To visit a friend. Take the dog to the woods. To have sex.

But I can't deny that there's a sense of loss. Realizing that there is no god. Realizing that to enjoy a day I need to veil my true self from my family. I'm actually still sorting out what exactly I'm missing. It's not religion, so let me assure you of that, my christian friends. It's a little pang I feel of I guess...being dirty. Being not accepted if I told the truth. Being wrong for just being me. I don't feel that way most of the time.

I'm kind of kick ass and I'm doing okay in life. It just kills me that, in my family, that isn't enough.